Together As One
We played at grandmoms house
We held hands and watched out for each other at the playground
We fought each other but made up every time
We learned to ride bikes together
I remember the time you secretly let go of my waist and let me ride for the first time without training wheels. I remember no longer feeling your strength holding me steady
You let go of me for the better
Now, you let go of me again but not to learn on my own and ride free but to cover it up and forget me.

Remember us?
“We” was our favorite word
“We” was us together every moment of our lives until now
The W and E now stand separate with a dark wall between the letters
They stand-alone
They don’t make as much sense alone as they would if they stood together, next to each other.
Our silly stubbornness continues to overwrite our friendship
Our timing is simply the wrong timing
You were my best friend and I always looked out for you just as you did for me

Remember we went to the ocean and there was a big storm?
We were thrilled by the huge waves crashing down on us
I could tell that when it got dangerous and I would stay under water longer then I should, you were worried
But when we went out to the deep end I was worried more about you then myself

Our timing is off now
Because if this were us young Mom would make us talk to each other
She would break down the brick wall that we built between ourselves

The thrill of the pills wrote pages of my life
They made my life better and you failed to see me and my side
Or maybe it was me?
I failed to see you holding out your hand
I neglected your strength to help me to fight it all, to help me through it all and to hold me steady like you always did

I drove you away with my habit I guess, but WE can become one again
Instead of two different people, instead of two different letters we can become one again
We can become we again
I am sorry you had to suffer as much as I did but I did not notice
For you hide your tears from me
Or maybe it was I at fault again
I was too “out of it” to notice that you face looked redder and your eyes were watery
I didn’t notice you wiping your tears and snot dripping off your nose on your sweater
I did not notice your heavy breathing, coping with the way I was, I way you wished I had never been
Your sad face was just another face I overlooked

I could say sorry a million times and hope that you could believe that its over for real this time
I could ask you over and over to believe me and only hope that you do now
I lost it and I lost myself and even though parts of myself are still missing, the drugs are lost now
The path to who I was will never be found again but the path to who I now know I can become is still being paved

The habit is gone like it never happened
Its put behind me, miles away where there’s no way back.
I’m stuck in the positive direction now
There’s no way back but only a way forward

You, now its about “you”
I as in caring all about me is over now

But I care more about we as in being together again as one
It’s all about us now and sewing the broken hearts back together and patching up the open cuts
So that we be ourselves again
We can stand together as one and no longer pretend that we don’t know each other
That we are not hurt or mad at each other because I know you’re mad
But we can stand together as one and no longer separate ourselves to being completely different people
Of course we are two different people, entirely but different people who make meaning of the word we
“We” meaning we work together as one . I may have failed to take your helping hand but I will not fail in offering you my hand
We’re sisters and being there is what’s right, for all you have done for me its only fair that I am here again.